same book

I am far from perfect. I say things out of anger, I lose my temper over silly things, and I even get jealous.

Today I’m writing a post about you. About me. If you are male and if you are female. This is us. This is me.

I have made dinners that I’ve spent extra money on…and no one ate it. I get frustrated, order a non organic, fat crusted, real cheese pizza. They don’t say please or thank you. I am a bad mom.

I went to my sons open house and was so embarrassed by how he was acting at the table. Kicking my chair, copying his sister who was screaming, and literally making me feed him his pizza. I have to remember he’s only 2. The terrible 3s are coming. I’m sure more than half the people in the room have more important things to complain about. I need to remember I am not alone.

I neglect my fur baby. She was my PRIDE and joy before my kids. I love her crazy ass so much and sometimes she needs my love too. I laugh and remember all the times we had when it was just us two…there still needs to be room in my heart for her. I sometimes forget.

The days where I say “are you effing kidding me?” under my breath while my toddler messes up my pillows for the 8th time and sticks his sucker on my shaggy carpet. And also the times where I say it out loud to my husband. I love them so much but I do get agitated. I need to remember to not sweat the small stuff.

When you don’t have a 9-5. You have an eyes open to eyes closed. But then you wake up 5 times during the night. You don’t have someone telling you “your doing a great job” or “you’re getting a raise today”. Instead, you get a blow out and 2 tantrums by 9am. I love so hard. But I also know hard days come with the job.

I enjoy letting lose and drinking wine. Sometimes I drink too much and probably do and say things my heart doesn’t agree with in the morning. Sometimes, I just need a reality check. Everyone makes mistakes. Just learn from them.

I feel guilty about making time for myself. I stretch my hair appointment out so long just so I don’t have to leave my family. I stopped getting my nails done because I thought of all the better ways that I could spend the 50 dollars. Sometimes I buy a bag of Cheddar Ruffles at the grocery store and eat them before I get home…and I am okay that they were my treat for the month. I need to take more time for myself.

It’s ok that it’s hard. You’re not alone.

If you are reading this and if any of my words are tapping you on the shoulder, just know I’m out there too. Feeling, seeing, and opening the same chapter book as you. We are on the same page just different books…and it is my favorite story.

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  • Katelyn AlberJanuary 26, 2019 - 4:11 pm

    Girl, we desperately need to live in the same town Everything you write, is me writing it too lol! Esp the poops one! Johnny is potty training/now constipated bc he keeps holding it in bc he’s scared to go on the toilet ‍♀️ Iv ran him to the toilet 100x the last few days bc he needs to gooooo, and then nothing. Mom life is notttttt glamorous lol but we love it, even through all the shitty (literally) Times  ReplyCancel

    • kurre273January 28, 2019 - 9:27 pm

      I know!!! I wish we were closer too! We had a massive poop on the floor today after holding it for 3 days!! (not me him) lolReplyCancel

  • Jessica JonesFebruary 6, 2019 - 10:38 pm

    Awe I love this! Right now both my kids are potty trained but baby girl is not lol since she is only 3 1/2 months. But the guilt and never having me time I totally relate. I now only get my hair done once a year and told my self this year I’m going to do it 2 maybe 3 times lol (badass right ). I also say things like today I’m going to be more present and not be on my phone or have tv on or this or that. I fee like there so much pressure these days. But I just try to breathe and remember all my kids are healthy, feed, happy, and that’s all that should matter! Thanks so much for sharing all your blogs and it’s so nice to know we’re not out there alone. ReplyCancel

    • kurre273February 6, 2019 - 11:46 pm

      Thanks for commenting! We are not alone! Yay! I started to schedule my hair appointments like 2 at a time so its on the calendar! Hahaha. Enjoy those babies mamaReplyCancel