Dear Son.

Dear Son,

You have changed me. You are the person who made me a mother. You are the one who as made me better. You are the hardest, most challenging, and greatest accomplishment of my life. You have no idea how I longed for you. How many surgeries I had to have to have you. How many tears your father and I had cried to conceive you. You are my son. You have showed me how to be strong, you made me tired, but yet for some reason my love for you only keeps growing. You were my first introduction into the true meaning of selfless and unconditional love.

You made your Dad have a softer heart. You have changed our marriage…for the better. You show us every day how to laugh. You are such a joy in this world and I cannot wait for you to show it off.

You won’t remember a lot before this birthday. You won’t remember the way you looked at me the first time we met. The way you made your Dad cry. You wont remember the way I held you against my body for hours at a time. You won’t remember your first 12 months. Each one different than the last and us celebrating each milestone. I will.

You drive me crazy. You know just how to push my buttons yet you are the best at melting them. You make my heart sing.

You won’t remember how I potty trained you. The way I sat in the bathroom with you and cried with you. You won’t remember how I had to bribe you. You won’t remember how you made your little sister belly laugh. No one can do it like you do.

You are the one to changed my body. I am different. I am softer. This is such a blessing in disguise. For 9 months my body grew and for 9 months my body nurtured yours. Without me, there would be no you.

I know I made you, but you have made me.

Happy 3rd Birthday Big Boy.

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    4 Day Detox

    Four days. Six juices per day.

    Let me start off my saying oooooooof, that was harder than I thought. This post is totally TMI but if you want to read the review, then here ya go. I am an open book. This was such a mental challenge for MY HUSBAND and I. Yes he did it too. What a hangry household for four days. Well, actually three. We both looked at each other the morning of the fourth and so kindly said, “lets make some eggs”. Best eggs I have ever had.

    I am sure there are all kinds of juice detox bars in your area. The one in my area is called “Nekter Juice Bar” . I have linked the website here and it actually looks like you can order it online! I have had lots of questions about this cleanse so here we go. Why did you do it? How did they taste? How was the “booty”? Lets start this little recap.

    Day One: I was super excited try all the juices. Here are all my first opinions on all 6 and how day one truly went.

    Juice One: 8am- Celery Juice wasn’t too bad. My husband would say it was his least favorite but I think I am little more of a health nut than he is. The after taste really just tastes like V8 to me. Wasn’t gaggy at all. Some mornings I had this before my coffee, others I drank it after. I am sure on a juice cleanse you are not supposed to drink coffee but lets be real….kids.

    What happened? Liquid poop. Yup, TMI but you asked for a real review. I was super duper nervous after this first juice to try the rest. My husband said this did not happen to him but me….yes. I think 4 times before my second juice.

    Juice Two: 10am- Turmeric Citrus. This one is my second favorite. To be honest we drink this one at my house all the time. If my little one starts to get a sniffle we allow him to drink this as much as he wants. It is bomb- a good orange juice sub.

    What happened? I knew what this juice tasted like prior so I wasn’t worried. I was more worried about how it was going to feel on the way out. Luckily it was only 1 more time before juice three. I was DYING for juice three. I was so hungry.

    Juice Three: 12pm- Strawberry Pitaya Protien. Barf. This one was my least favorite and my husbands favorite. It was too fruity for me. I would rather drink 10 celery drinks over this one.

    What happened? Made me full. It has protein in it.

    Juice Four: 2pm- Charcoal Lemonade. Yassssssss! This one was so refreshing. Again, one of my husbands least favorites but one of my favorites. It is quite sour but I felt like it was light and refreshing after that heavy protein one.

    What happened? Nothing.

    Juice Five: 4pm- Classic Greens. Easy peasy again….a little sweet but easy.

    What happened? Nothing.

    Juice Six: 6pm- This one was pretty good. By 6pm I could tell my body needed some more protein. It was a little sweet to begin with but after a while just tasted like a sweeter protein shake and less icy. This one was way better than the pink one.

    Verdict?

    Not bad at all. The reason I wanted to do this cleanse was because I felt my body hating itself. I felt like I wasn’t eating the right foods and I just needed a total body restart. I think it did the job. After my initial squirts were over, I started feeling really great. I could find my body craving more protein and I knew that there was light at the end of the tunnel. But by the way my husband lost 5 lbs. I lost 1. Men. Awesome. I feeeeeel better though and thats what matters. I think what I learned most about this was that I am a kid snacker. I snack off my kids breakfast plate, I snack of their morning snack, I snack off their lunch…you get it. Even if you try the cleanse for one day it is actually a great way to see what changes you can make to your diet. I loved it. I will do it again 100%

    But for now, I am going to pour some wine.

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      Our Table

      How important is dinner time for you and your family? Is it a quick drive through Chick-fil-a? Is it Doordash? Is it on the patio? Dinner is my most favorite time of night. Let’s be honest though….the few hours that get you TO dinner are hell. Why is it that every time I step into the kitchen everyone seems to gravitate toward my feet? Cry more and play less? Every. Dang. Time. However, this is by far one time of day that I want my kids to remember. Dinner, at OUR table.

      My family eats dinner together around our dinner table 99% of the time. I think that when I was younger I didn’t realize why my mom made us do the same thing. All talk together, laugh together, cry together, and sometimes hide food in our napkins so we didn’t have to eat it. She did it for a reason. I may not have known it then but she was creating OUR time. It was the one time of day where she could enjoy stories about our day, learn about what makes us happy, what makes us sad, and just really all be present with no distractions.

      If I am being truthful, not all the time is our dinner table a pleasant thing to walk in to. It can be filled with “try it” bribes, “fine go to sleep” conversations, and “get your feet off the table” in not so nice yelling. But hey, it’s OUR table and I have the power as the adult to make the experience how I want them to remember it.

      How you want your kiddos to remember dinner? How do I want their kids to remember it? Try something new if you don’t like how things are going. If y’all are crazy busy with sports or after school activities, make one day a week a family dinner….no distractions. See what happens. See how your heart feels. I promise you wont regret it.

      We celebrated Our Father with an early Easter dinner this past Sunday. Here are some fun small touches to add this year if you are hosting. Make it YOUR table this Sunday. You go girl.

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      • MomMay 7, 2019 - 2:38 am

        Your words make me cry you are so beautiful and a blessing to your family I love you Katelynn ReplyCancel

      let today just be.

      I am an early person. I have to say that when I was in high school this concept got nailed into my brain. I believe the quote was, “if you’re early you’re on time, if you’re on time your late”. Thanks Thurston High School Cabaret, GO COLTS. Why has that stuck with me for so many years? Why am I always urked by those who are always late? Why does it piss me off so bad?

      When you tell me let’s get coffee at 10am and I show up and it’s 955am, I am a nervous wreck and sweating like a cow. I’m a control freak. I like things to be a certain way. I like my house to be clean, I like my kids to act like adults…..wait what? My kids are 2 and 9 months. WHAT AM I DOING? What’s all this pressure and where is it coming from?

      Today is just a small post to remind myself and you, yes you…whoever you are, that it’s ok to let them be little. Let them make a mess and don’t clean it up. Take a nap with them instead of doing the laundry in the dryer that you have fluffed up 10 times. Let your husband pick up dinner so you can play longer with them outside. Leave the dishes in the sink so you can jump in the hot tub with your husband after they go down.

      It’s the end of spring break and all I have to say is that this week has been so enjoyable with my babies. From new adventures around town, to baking, to water fights in the hot tub…such a joy.

      You do not have to fit the mold of what your mother was. You do not have to learn from her mistakes because you are allowed to make them too. Learn what habits and memories you want in your family. Reinvent how you want to live. How you want your kids to live. How you want to contribute to your marriage. I sometimes forget how to reflect and change. I think that change is good and it is so important in being a mentally stable mom….or not. 🙂

      I wanted to share these photos taken my talented, dear friend, Jamie (https://jamiedenholmphotography.com). I love being a photographer…just as much as I love having someone capture these moments in my life. My miracle babies are my pride and joy. Here’s to today just being today. Being present.

      give them a kiss for me.

      xo

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      • MiaMarch 16, 2019 - 3:38 am

        Omg I love these. And I love your point. I used to be a perfectionist and becoming a mom has helped me overcome that and give myself grace. ReplyCancel

        • kurre273March 20, 2019 - 1:09 am

          TOTALLY agree. Its so hard sometimes thoughReplyCancel

      Baby Two -the bleeding didn’t stop, it got worse-

      Yes. I wanted more than one kid. My entire childhood are memories made with my siblings. What a whirlwind of trying again. The good news was that I already knew I had to do IVF. I had another egg frozen and I was ready to take on the challenge of trying again.

      Thoughts fill my head of is my body going to be able to handle a second child? Will I be able to stay alive if I hemorrhage again? This decision to put another embryo in was a bigger decision and risk than the first one. I had 2 people that I dearly cared about and there was NO option of leaving my husband without a wife and my son without a mother. I was scared.

      But scared wasn’t going to help me complete my family. So, we did it.

      All went well with the transfer until about one week later. I started spotting and just knew that my body had rejected the embryo. I went to my doctor and did the routine pregnancy test and went home to wait for results. After a long day of waiting I just knew when I got the phone call that it was a negative.

      Boom wrong. Pregnant. Wait what? I had explained to my doctor that I had some bleeding. He said not to worry and that it could be implantation bleeding. We were beyond overjoyed that we were about to grow baby number two.

      I will never forget the next SIXTEEN weeks that followed.

      The bleeding didn’t stop. In fact, it actually got worse. Way worse. I remember this one time I just knew that I had miscarried. I was using the restroom and passed a clot the size of a grapefruit. I sobbed. I was so afraid that I was not going to be able to carry a child because of what happened with my first. I called my doctor and told them I needed to come in because I had just miscarried.

      We prayed the entire way to the appointment. For clarity, safety, reassurance…I didn’t want to know that my body was going to be unable to carry another baby. The ultrasound tech came in and to my surprise, there was a heartbeat. There was NO way. No way. From my past hemorrhage I know what a lot of blood looks like and there was just about the same amount.

      I was diagnosed with a Subchorionic Hematoma. This is where bleeding is accumulated between the uterus and the placenta itself. The entire top half of my placenta was bleeding. There is no telling if I will miscarry or if my body can repair itself. Other than when I hemorrhaged with my son, this was yet again a very scary part of my pregnancy. I bled for 16 weeks passing all sorts of clots not knowing if I was passing my baby or a blood clot.

      My IVF journey ended after I had my last and final baby on May 30th 2018. I birthed a beautiful, healthy baby girl. I knew she was going to be my last child after my hemorrhage and hematoma. Now more than ever, I was needed. I needed to be there for my husband, my son, and my daughter.

      Both of my pregnancies were very scary. One after I gave birth and one during. If you are struggling with your pregnancy, loss of a child, or trying to get pregnant… you HAVE to have the support of your spouse, your family, neighbors, and your friends. I always wonder why it had to happen to me. But reliving it now and looking back on it, it made my village stronger. My village was here when I needed them the most. My village was stepping in for my extra doctors appointments, helping me with my son, and giving me the support I needed during a very rough time. If anything, let me be apart of your journey. I may not know exactly what you are going through, but I will support you.

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      • Aimee PonomarenkoFebruary 17, 2019 - 8:41 pm

        Great story! Nearly cried the whole time! Love u and all that you have done to create our family! ReplyCancel

      • CrystalMarch 14, 2019 - 9:54 pm

        I also had subchorionic hematomas with my first pregnancy and bled for the entire pregnancy! I feel ya! ReplyCancel

        • kurre273March 15, 2019 - 7:05 pm

          I am sorry mama! Its the hardest thing, we just have to keep talking about it!ReplyCancel

      • JenniferMarch 16, 2019 - 3:54 pm

        Thank you for sharing. You are so right. We must be there for one another during difficult times. It’s the only way we’ll endure life. ReplyCancel

      Baby One -something went wrong-

      We all plan our babies from the get go. Have sex one time, get pregnant. Have a perfect pregnancy, make your husband rub your feet and you get to eat all the ice cream in bed. Then, a perfect delivery and recovery. All is well. Am I right or am I right? I want to share my birth/after stories. It has been on my heart for a while now to introduce you to how my babies got here. We all have our stories and it is time to share baby one.

      I am an IVF mama. After countless attempts of trying to get pregnant, my husband and I had to seek fertility help. His “parts” we working all fine and dandy but it was me. It is really hard to swallow that pill as a woman knowing the one thing you were created to do was not going to be able to happen naturally. It was really hard for me at first to except this, but now looking back it was the best decision I’ve ever made.

      After multiple tests, picking and prodding, and 2 surgeries, we finally figured out that both of my fallopian tubes were blocked. There was no way over the years that I was going to be able to get pregnant. I had to get them both removed in order for IVF to be successful. WHAT? Why was my doctor going to take away the only part of me that allowed me TO get pregnant…..on this one, I had to put my faith and trust in God and the doctors that he had led me to.

      My first little embryo was put in. We didn’t know the sex and we didn’t care. First try and it took! For those of you reading this and who may be struggling, keep the faith.

      On September 2nd 2015 my husband and I had a voicemail waiting my pregnancy results and I was not allowed to listen to it until we were both together. That night, as we pushed play, tears of joy ran down both of our faces as we heard, “You are pregnant”. I could not believe that we were about to be parents and was so excited to start this journey with my best friend.

      My pregnancy was a breeze. Made me want 5 babies. I should have milked the foot rub and ice cream a little more though…..At just shy of 25 weeks, my baby was already head down and making great progress.

      I had the blessing of delivering a beautiful baby boy on May 6th 2016. I had never seen anything more perfect in my entire life. My husband and I were brought to tears when we saw him for the first time and that will be a memory that will carry on for both of us forever. Delivery was quite simple; I truly believe that if you mentally prepare yourself for what God is about to give you, there is nothing you cannot handle. YOUR BODY IS MADE for this!

      My doctor had told me that post birth, there will be some bleeding. I know my girlfriends warned me of this but boy was it more than I thought. She specifically said, “just keep an eye on things and call me if you are passing clots larger than a golf ball, have a fever, or are soaking through a pad quicker than within an hour”. The first week passed and there was a lot of blood, I had done some of my own research and knew that it was probably pretty normal. Some women bleed for one week, and some bleed for 8 weeks. I just thought I was taking a little longer….but what did I know, I had never been post pregnant before. Again, not clots, no fever, and no soaking.

      Two weeks, three weeks, and four weeks came fast. My bleeding hadn’t got much better. I again did my own research and spoke to some of my friends. Most people see a change in their bleeding around week 2 or 3….I was going on week 5 and had not seen any difference. I was starting to get annoyed because I wanted to go out in public without worrying if I needed to go to the restroom…how in the heck do you do that with a newborn?! After debating on waiting one more week for my 6 week check up, my husband and I decided to bump my OBGYN appointment up early and get checked out just to be safe.

      I went in to my doctor June 9th 2016 around 2:30pm with my son because my husband was seeing patients until 5pm. I told my doctor that I had not stopped bleeding and that I wanted to make sure I was ok. For 5 weeks I had not a single symptom of an infection or passing large clots….I got on the bed and she started to look….and then stopped. Then she called the second doctor in. She got the sonogram machine. With looking at my 5 week old son on the floor sleeping soundly and my heart starting to panic, my doctor looked at me and said “you are not supposed to look like this at 5 weeks”. At this point I’m sure the expression on my face was clear….”what do you mean” I thought to myself. The doctors explained to me that they could see just a little piece of my placenta still inside me. They also told me that they were going to try and move/pry at it a little to see if they could get it to loosen and then I could pass it at the office or at home.

      It was at this moment when I knew something was wrong.

      I could feel blood rushing out of my body. I could see it all over the floor. I could see it next to my son. I could see the sheer panic on my doctor’s face as she grabbed the sonogram and shoved it on my belly. There was a large baseball size piece that was behind the little piece they had picked open.

      I was hemorrhaging.

      My doctor immediately asked for an IV and said she was taking me straight to the OR to stop the bleeding. Any new mothers first thought? My baby. My husband is at work. Ok. You got this. Pray. Stay calm…. a rush of tears and fear came over my body.

      I immediately grabbed my phone and asked my husbands staff to cancel his patients and come to the hospital because I was going into an emergency surgery. Simultaneously as I am getting whisked away to the OR they take my son and reassure me that he will be fine and if he cries they will feed him a bottle. I vaguely remember telling my doctor that I would kill her if they fed him a bottle because I worked so hard at a freezer stash at home. It was by far the scariest thing having your 5 week old taken, you whisked to the OR, your husband is gone trying to get to the baby as fast as he can, and you are alone about to be put under. But again, I tried to stay calm…

      After going under, the doctors and staff finally stopped the bleeding. They ended up performing an emergency D&C (Dilation and curettage is a procedure to remove tissue from inside your uterus) to retrieve the rest of my placenta. I was awake about an hour later and more than ready to get home to my baby and my husband. The staff was very good and let me know they believe that they had solved the problem and released me.

      A retained placenta is a potential life-threating situation. Deadly fevers, infections, and clots were symptoms that were supposed to arise that the doctors were dumbfounded I never got within 5 weeks postpartum. After the placenta is delivered, the uterus contracting causes the blood vessels within to tighten. In my case, the placenta was retained; the uterus was unable to perform this function, which caused me to bleed continuously for 5 weeks.

      I didn’t want another baby a for a while after this. I’d never been so afraid in my life. Was my body going to be able to hold a second baby after this? I wasn’t sure if I even wanted another child at this point. I have never been through anything so traumatic in my entire life. I shouldn’t even be alive.

      We all have our birth stories. But we also all have each other. I remember when I first started my IVF journey I was scared to talk about it. Ashamed to say the least. I wanted to share my FIRST story because I want my family and friends to know you are not alone. It is crazy because a lot of people don’t really talk about it until it happens to you. Talk about your struggles ladies, it will only make us stronger.

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      • AmyFebruary 15, 2019 - 6:11 pm

        I love that you shared this mama!! I know it’s not easy talking and infertility and I’m sooo glad we had each other through our IVF journeys:)ReplyCancel

        • kurre273February 16, 2019 - 2:47 pm

          ALWAYS AND FOREVER!ReplyCancel

      • AshleyFebruary 16, 2019 - 1:52 am

        Oh this gives me all the feels! My heart hurts for you while reading this. I’ll have to share with you my war story sometime. I’m coming up on a year after giving birth and I’m a little haunted by it to be honest. Also, my mom almost bled out after having me due to retained placenta. Her midwife had to reach her arm all the way up to her elbow to rip the piece off. Thank you for sharing this. ReplyCancel

        • kurre273February 16, 2019 - 2:48 pm

          You’re so welcome and I would love to swap stories sometime! Glad your mother is ok!ReplyCancel

      • Mary LanzFebruary 16, 2019 - 2:48 pm

        What a absolutely terrifying postpartum journey. I cannot even imagine the fear you were experiencing. Your Faith kept you strong, God had a plan and you followed his footsteps. You amazingly strong young woman that I admire more and more each day.ReplyCancel

      I was a great wife and mom, before kids and marriage

      Why is there so much pressure before we get into all this? I mean I have been planning out my marriage and what my kids will be like since like 16. I know you have a list of baby names on your phone. Stop it.

      I wanna be the best mom I can be. My brain is non stop trying to be better. Non stop turning. Hamster wheel in fact.

      Every night before bed I have the best intentions for the next day. Things I constantly say to myself.

      1: I am going to be more present 2: Put my phone down and not have to photograph everything 3: Laugh till I cry with my kids 4: Have sex with my husband tonight, surprise! 5: Eat a salad for every meal and give my kids an organic smoothie at every meal 6: Be creative with our time 7: Don’t yell 8: Be more patient……. repeat.

      Then 10 am hits.

      GET YOUR ASS ON THE TOILET, WE ARE LEAVING GET YOUR SHOES ON, DO YOU HAVE TO PEE, HERE’S A SUCKER, DON’T HIT YOUR SISTER, DID I LET THE DOG OUT, WHERE ARE MY KEYS, DID YOU JUST POOP IN THE CORNER, HERES JUICE NOT CUT HALF WITH WATER CAUSE YOU ARE APPARENTLY IN A DROUGHT AND CANNOT WAIT TWO SECONDS

      Don’t forget to call the pool guy about the part we’ve been needing to order. Summer is coming.

      In my head (before I was married) my future husband and I never fought about money, my grocery store bill, or our petty fights about nothing. My kids were perfect. Ones who slept through the night and never had diarrhea that came out that back and into their hair. They were potty training angels who loved all their vegetables. Whoops. I LOVE my kids. My fantasy ones were wayyyyyy different than my real ones.

      I need to remember to order more coffee on Amazon.

      Remember at the beginning of the year when I wrote those “lunchbox love notes” in his lunch when he went to school….he’s two, did his teacher even read them to him? I need to do that again. Yes, keep going with the notes that he cannot read. Add it to the plate.

      My check engine oil has been on for weeks. Call the dealership to set up an appointment.

      When my husband gets home tonight, I am going to be wearing a robe. Nothing on underneath. Going to give him the biggest kiss. I need to really work on spicing it up. Did I shower today? Two kids under two, oof. Those of you who keep goin, b r a v o.

      Kids got pink eye. If you are a mom in his class and reading this I am sorry. He is not going to school tomorrow don’t worry. And yes the email that was sent out was us. Today we are “that family”.

      Tonight before bed I am going to read not two but five books. And I am not going to skip the pages that have more than ten words on them. I am not going to rush.

      And now, before bed I am going to make a list of everything I just talked about. Because that is normal right? I am not going to feel guilty about what I didn’t accomplish today but be proud that I had an extra 3 minutes to shave my legs. We all make lists…and more lists. Right…and then by 10am it all goes to shit. Maybe not all shit. But a little shit. Like the one on the floor my son just did.

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        day in the life of a yoga mom

        I am a yoga mom.

        Other than the few times of waking up in the middle of the night, I finally turn off my alarm I take a deep breathe in and exhale. 3 times. I know this is my most important part of the day because my husband is still sleeping and both of my kids are in their beds. Then I walk upstairs to my daughter and hit my most common pose these days….baby nursing pose.

        I know I am winning at #momlife because I will take off my sweatpants and put on my yoga pants to get ready for the day. Depending on if it is school drop off day, typically I will try and wear my nice black ones…. because yes, I do need four black pairs. And yes, my nice ones are different than the other three. You get it.

        Yoga pants say alot about a mom. Like, did I just wake up or did I just get off the treadmill? I’m FIT(ish). Semi-fit. Kinda fit. Someone who likes the idea of being fit but also equally likes cheese and wine. But who cares, my pants give me the illusion.

        On to my next pose. Handstand. Super easy and yes, another one of my favorites. This is usually done between me trying to feed my daughter, clean up my sons poop off the floor (yes we are potty training still and he is deathly afraid to poop in the toilet), cooking eggs, and trying to drink my coffee. If I am lucky while I am upside down I get a kiss out the door as my husband leaves for work. And then I usually hold this pose until lunch time. Sometimes if I am feeling really strong I will throw in a Eagle Pose….aka tangle all of your limbs until you can’t cross anything anymore.

        Picking up toys is a work out in itself. I mean how on earth does a toddler and an eight month old make such a mess in such a little amount of time?! However, I would much rather pick up toys then do my next pose. Thigh-burning hell on earth pose. Also known as Chair Pose. Why would anyone want to do that? Especially in yogas pants. Mine are so stretched out from wearing them 4 days in a row, they need a good wash.

        Dinner time is typically hot yoga. I am usually sweating and it seems to be my kids happy hour. Aka mom is in the kitchen lets cry and pull on her as she is trying to make dinner. ALWAYS. Never fails.

        At night I always look forward to Savasana. The lay on the floor and don’t move pose. But it typically gets interrupted by dishes, laundry, and an occasional shower. Oh yeah, I gotta go throw my yoga pants in…so I can go to yoga again tomorrow.

        Stretch it out. Namaste.

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        • Ashley HemphillFebruary 6, 2019 - 2:10 am

          I was just asking my husband the other day why our kid screams for me and yanks at my [yoga] pants only when I’m in the kitchen. What is it about the kitchen??‍♀️ReplyCancel

          • kurre273February 6, 2019 - 6:37 pm

            HAHA THE KITCHEN! They always know when we are in there!ReplyCancel

        • EstherFebruary 15, 2019 - 4:03 pm

          Eleanor, my oldest is also deathly afraid of using the potty…. it’s a struggle to even get her to sit on the trainer without sounding like someone has seriously hurt her. I’ve sat there for literally the entire time shes on it hugging her reassuring her that it’s ok to no avail!ReplyCancel

          • kurre273February 16, 2019 - 2:47 pm

            Thats all we can do! Love love loveReplyCancel

        • yogapantsSeptember 23, 2019 - 8:33 am

          It’s appropriate time to make some plans for the future and it’s time to be happy.
          I’ve read this post and if I could I desire to suggest you
          few interesting things or suggestions. Maybe you can write next articles referring to this article.
          I wish to read even more things about it!ReplyCancel

        Poops, Toots, and Diapers

        So I’m so excited to talk to you about what’s not talked about…the rear. No really. I believe I started to write this post because we are full blown potty training. Pee and poop. All. Over. It’s all thats on my mind these days.

        But then it turned into me. Yes. A women’s rear. Not the fact that I need to get mine in shape but about what’s not talked about. I realized today that every where I look in my house, there is a diaper. A poopy one, a pee one, a clean one…All. Over. We don’t have one of those diaper pales because who has time for those, I used to shove that thing so full by the time I had a second to empty it, the first poop I put in there was growing fur. I don’t have time for that.

        I can’t believe I’m about to write this post but you have no idea how this is so misunderstood by us multitaskers! It may not be the most sanitary but try breastfeeding, helping a toddler open a juice before a mental breakdown, and sitting on your thrown. Sometimes, it has to be done.

        Why is it that women are so embarrassed that we don’t poop roses and rainbows? Why is it that my husband can sit on his phone for 30 min and the second I give him the nod of “I’m going in”…the kids are screaming at the door asking me for something. If you let out some rainbows, let us in on your secret…my lucky charm is far from that pot of gold.

        Anywho, starting from the very beginning when I pooped while birthing both my kids… and for those of you who say you didn’t OR you actually didn’t poop, then I need to give you a Golden Globe because I pushed so hard that I’m surprised that a whole happy meal didn’t pop out. My kids first words should have been… Do you want fries with that?

        We can skip that. Starting from the beginning of the beginning before my kids. Yes, we talk about tooting and poops even before my husband and I were married. I told him the biggest secret a few months before we got married. I will never forget that I was taking these dietary pills before my wedding (which probably aren’t FDA approved but I took them just because… I’m trying to be skinny before my wedding)… Anyways we went out to a bar and had been taking these pills for about three weeks. We ate dinner at a sushi restaurant if I recall….I underestimated the tuna roll. The diet pill bottle did NOT say “be prepared to have the worst farts of your life if you are taking these and eating sushi”. Looking back on it, the bottle should have.

        I have never seen a reserved section of a bar clear out so fast. My fiance looked at me and knew right away. He had been smelling me for weeks. We were both trying to keep a straight face…we both didn’t know if we should claim that it was me or be ashamed. The fart that I let out should have set off the alarm for the infectious disease department… And I’ve never said this until today (for those of you that were there)… it was me and I take full ownership. Yup. Guilty as charged.

        More poop, another thing that inspired me to write this post is my daughter Westyn who is now eating more solid foods which I couldn’t be more impressed with. It’s so funny how the first little solid turd she had I yelled at my husband to come look at it because it was such a big chapter in our lives. And yes, he looked. Sometimes when I am done, I look down and say…”dang girl, good job”. We all need reassurance that it’s ok to go.

        I made all of my sons baby foods. My daughter on the other hand is enjoying chunky foods over puréed foods. She eats 1.5 avocados a day. Imagine what those poops looks like! If she pushes out a seed I’ll do a post on an experiment and try to plant it…to be continued. 🙂

        Anyways poops and toots are for real.

        I hope you have a great one today.
        And you know what I’m talking about.

        Cheers and have fun on that Royal throne.

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          same book

          I am far from perfect. I say things out of anger, I lose my temper over silly things, and I even get jealous.

          Today I’m writing a post about you. About me. If you are male and if you are female. This is us. This is me.

          I have made dinners that I’ve spent extra money on…and no one ate it. I get frustrated, order a non organic, fat crusted, real cheese pizza. They don’t say please or thank you. I am a bad mom.

          I went to my sons open house and was so embarrassed by how he was acting at the table. Kicking my chair, copying his sister who was screaming, and literally making me feed him his pizza. I have to remember he’s only 2. The terrible 3s are coming. I’m sure more than half the people in the room have more important things to complain about. I need to remember I am not alone.

          I neglect my fur baby. She was my PRIDE and joy before my kids. I love her crazy ass so much and sometimes she needs my love too. I laugh and remember all the times we had when it was just us two…there still needs to be room in my heart for her. I sometimes forget.

          The days where I say “are you effing kidding me?” under my breath while my toddler messes up my pillows for the 8th time and sticks his sucker on my shaggy carpet. And also the times where I say it out loud to my husband. I love them so much but I do get agitated. I need to remember to not sweat the small stuff.

          When you don’t have a 9-5. You have an eyes open to eyes closed. But then you wake up 5 times during the night. You don’t have someone telling you “your doing a great job” or “you’re getting a raise today”. Instead, you get a blow out and 2 tantrums by 9am. I love so hard. But I also know hard days come with the job.

          I enjoy letting lose and drinking wine. Sometimes I drink too much and probably do and say things my heart doesn’t agree with in the morning. Sometimes, I just need a reality check. Everyone makes mistakes. Just learn from them.

          I feel guilty about making time for myself. I stretch my hair appointment out so long just so I don’t have to leave my family. I stopped getting my nails done because I thought of all the better ways that I could spend the 50 dollars. Sometimes I buy a bag of Cheddar Ruffles at the grocery store and eat them before I get home…and I am okay that they were my treat for the month. I need to take more time for myself.

          It’s ok that it’s hard. You’re not alone.

          If you are reading this and if any of my words are tapping you on the shoulder, just know I’m out there too. Feeling, seeing, and opening the same chapter book as you. We are on the same page just different books…and it is my favorite story.

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          • Katelyn AlberJanuary 26, 2019 - 4:11 pm

            Girl, we desperately need to live in the same town Everything you write, is me writing it too lol! Esp the poops one! Johnny is potty training/now constipated bc he keeps holding it in bc he’s scared to go on the toilet ‍♀️ Iv ran him to the toilet 100x the last few days bc he needs to gooooo, and then nothing. Mom life is notttttt glamorous lol but we love it, even through all the shitty (literally) Times  ReplyCancel

            • kurre273January 28, 2019 - 9:27 pm

              I know!!! I wish we were closer too! We had a massive poop on the floor today after holding it for 3 days!! (not me him) lolReplyCancel

          • Jessica JonesFebruary 6, 2019 - 10:38 pm

            Awe I love this! Right now both my kids are potty trained but baby girl is not lol since she is only 3 1/2 months. But the guilt and never having me time I totally relate. I now only get my hair done once a year and told my self this year I’m going to do it 2 maybe 3 times lol (badass right ). I also say things like today I’m going to be more present and not be on my phone or have tv on or this or that. I fee like there so much pressure these days. But I just try to breathe and remember all my kids are healthy, feed, happy, and that’s all that should matter! Thanks so much for sharing all your blogs and it’s so nice to know we’re not out there alone. ReplyCancel

            • kurre273February 6, 2019 - 11:46 pm

              Thanks for commenting! We are not alone! Yay! I started to schedule my hair appointments like 2 at a time so its on the calendar! Hahaha. Enjoy those babies mamaReplyCancel